After time
After time
After time after time after time
After time moving over rocks one to one to one
After time with the sound of the ocean
After time in the wild wind
After time with the foam and the spray
After time I begin to sing my name and to sing the water and to sing the land
I scour the edges of the ocean’s sorting
I scour and search the edges of my heart
The wind and the rain and ocean call to me
They call me up and out
They call me through myself
They open me to what I could not find
I hear the roar of my voice in the roar of the ocean
I roared with the ocean
I roared into the air my voice loosening my throat
Lumps of silence moved out of me
Lumps of silence moving into the wind
Opening my throat
Throngs of sound expelled into the wind
Grief of women
Grieving women poured through me as I rent my clothes
Tear myself open to the ocean
Tear myself apart into the ocean of all grief
Swam and crawled and clawed and fell into the ocean of grief for all things
Of all things
I moved between the spaces of all time
After time
After time it was done
After time I was opened
After time I was home
The closed doors of grief that had locked me out had opened again and brought me home
Opened to the ocean
Opened to the sky
Opened to the earth
Held by all
I lay in the arms of all
After time

2019